Long Distance...

Let's start out with some background. I met Vince, my boyfriend, in March of 2018 in Winona, MN. I was finishing my freshman year of college at WSU and he was living in town with his family. We went on a few dates and one thing led to another and we started dating on April 17, 2018. I had already decided to transfer schools to UWW and move back home before I met Vince, which unfortunately led to me having to leave town. Vince and I decided together that we would make the 203 miles between us work. We agreed to see each other every other weekend. We were both working full time jobs and I went back to school in the fall, but we kept going- and now we're here.

So what makes our long distance relationship work? Easy- communication. I don't see Vince every day, so communication is vital. We both work full time and I'm still in school. Vince is planning his next steps in school, but no matter what, we always talk. Every morning, we both wake up between 4:30-6 for work, text each other good morning and text periodically until work is over. Immediately after work we FaceTime. We FaceTime every chance we get. Most times, its anywhere from 2-4 times a day, no matter how long or short. I will call him on my drive home from the store or he will call me on his walks with our dog. But no matter what we're doing, we still ask each other the same questions a 'normal' couple would: "How was your day? What are your plans? What's for dinner?"

Another huge part of being in a long distance relationship is trust. I trust Vince and he trusts me. This all comes from the truth and honesty. Yes, Vince and I have had our ups and downs. I'd be lying if I said we never fought or had petty arguments. But that's what makes us, us. We grow from those situations. We talk things out. We say our truths and speak our mind. We talk about big and little decisions together and we cherish the time we have together. The truth is, time is short. We don't have forever, so no matter who it is, we need to cherish them, the memories and the experiences.

The other thing that Vince and I have been doing ever since I moved is write letters. We write each other letters beyond talking every day and seeing each other every other weekend. We started this in hopes that it would be a way to have a piece of each other no matter where we were. It may seem old school, especially in today's society of advanced technology, but it is so heartfelt. I get butterflies when I get a letter from Vince in the mail. Seeing his handwriting means the world to me. I have saved every letter he has ever written me, and same for him. When we started writing letters, we made them personal. We wrote the date we wrote it, included quotes or bible verses that related to our situation and wrote to each other how we were feeling in that moment. These small letters take a fraction of a time to write and or send, but they are a game changer. Whenever I'm missing Vince a bit extra, I read some of the letters he wrote me. Those letters, in my opinion, is the closest way I can feel connected to him when we are so far apart.

You may be putting yourself in my shoes or even taking on an endeavor similar to this one with a loved one. Whether its your parents, a spouse or partner, or even a best friend; you can do it. Distance is hard. It's never ideal and sometimes it plain out sucks. But, if we can do it, so can you. Remember to keep your loved one informed. Update them, text them, call them from time to time. Hearing a person's voice over the phone is so much more meaningful then just a text message. And don't forget that just because you're long distance doesn't mean that you can't still find things to talk about.

I truly believe that Vince and I are a stronger couple because of our situation. We have grown to find what works for each other and what doesn't through talking and being together. When I get those 4 days of bliss on the weekend to see him, we spend every waking moment learning more about each other and making memories. There is never a dull moment. I strongly believe that just because you and a loved one are long distance does not mean you will break up or lose contact. If you care and if they care, it will work. Put the same amount of effort into it as you would as if you were seeing them daily. And remember, if they are having a bad day or not talking as much, you could just be out a groove. There are plenty of days when Vince and my schedules just don't align and we hardly talk. And that is okay. Just know that tomorrow is a new day. And when you finally get the chance to see that person again, it will be so exhilarating, so genuine and so meaningful.